For years this is the question I asked myself, “Am I Bergdorfs or Birkenstock?” Then, yesterday, while being coached around confidence in my big-biz-launch by my Rock Star mastermind group, I said it out loud. They laughed (lovingly) and one asked, “Do I hear the makings of a blog?” (I love the way my mastermind family helps me step up and stretch) So, here I am, sharing my angst.
This question has plagued me for quite some time. When I looked just a bit closer, I realized I was asking myself, “Am I the Mikimoto-pearl-and designer-bag-wearing-woman or the tent-camping-sweats-and-sneakers kinda’ girl?” “Am I all about green smoothies and meditation or chocolate and margaritas? (one thing was clear, I am not giving up chocolate)
I told myself, “You are a coach, espousing mindfulness and conscious living, and it is important to live and work in integrity; walk the talk.” These (tangible) things should not matter to you. (there’s that “should”)
And the question kept nagging me. Bergdorfs or Birkenstock? (talk about gremlins)
I stressed myself out thinking I was not in integrity with my biz mission when peace of mind eluded me or I got joy shopping for makeup at Neimans (no Bergdorfs in NC).
I had missed the obvious. Heck, I have Chaka Kahn’s “I’m Every Woman” as a ringtone on my phone. So, somewhere in me I already knew the answer.
Then, when my mastermind members laughed, clarity was the outcome. (big, that-feels-so-good out breath) I finally realized that the stress of living with this question was the real reason I felt out of integrity. The obvious had eluded me. I was forcing myself to choose rather than just being me, in all my fullness. And, I finally realized, “It is OK to be Bergdorfs AND Birkenstock.” Why? Because that is WHO I AM. Trying to be any one or any thing else is energy draining and stress-FULL.
And now, I can live more comfortably and fully into who I am. Partying hard, enjoying that margarita AND knowing that mindfulness, intuition and my fruit-smoothie-with-flax are natural complements to all the women I am. What fun. Variety and freedom rock!
So, now that I am clear, maybe I’ll wear my Mikimoto pearls WITH my Birkenstocks.
P.S. Jimmy Choos’s are still out of the question. I cannot walk in six inch heels
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Exactly! I needed this, thanks! I often have the same question myself. I am slowly accept this about myself. It’s taken me 50 years to get to being who I am and I still am getting there, but today I can see glimmers of this acceptance! YEA!
Tammie, Shine on! There’s no rush or race. Sparkle on your journey to Self. Yay for you!
*LOVE LOVE LOVE* this, Karen! I’ve felt the suffering of trying to cut off different parts of myself at different times, trying to force myself into one side or the other, and it STINKS! That “and” has a big, huge, deep breath that goes along with it. Thank you for the reminder!
Laura, Thankful to you and our Rock Star mastermind for the prompt & support. It feels so good.